As I was starring outside at the mounds of snow yesterday morning, totally depressed that winter is still here, I got a call from T my nurse at the RE's office. I was shocked to see her number as I really wasn't expecting to hear a word form her until sometime next week! She called to tell me that Oklahoma's test results had come back and everything looked great! We have a consultation with Dr. B on Tuesday to finalize the cycle and ask questions etc. I realized that I was so excited for the call, that I forgot to ask some details about the testing. I am a moron. So I sent her an email and hope to get the answers back pronto. So next week we should be a big week to get the cycle rolling! I won't actually get pregnant until end of April most likely but it is nice to have anything moving forward right now.
I still hate the weather.
I have been very positive the past few days. I still hate my body for failing don't get me wrong. I am still grieving the loss of a future genetic child and certainly mourning the little one we did lose that was to be born this month. Despite all that DH and I are dreaming and talking a lot bout babies and I even enjoy looking at baby stuff on Pinterest. Can't handle pregnant ladies though. Not sure if I ever will really.
I told DH last night that I feel a little lost. I have spent 2 years trying everything in my power to have a baby with my body. I have obsessed so hard that now that we aren't relying on my eggs anymore it feels weird. I don't know how to stop obsessing. Don't get me wrong there is a huge weight off my shoulders on one hand. I don't have the pressure... but I don't know how to adjust to NOT feeling that pressure. So weird.
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