I have no freakin clue what I am doing.

I am a planner.... everything all planned out. About everything.  The husband and I always laugh because in our IF journey NOT ONE SINGLE THING HAS GONE ACCORDING TO PLAN.  I always say " Every time we plan God laughs at us".  I mean even when I planned on NOT getting pregnant ...I got pregnant. It is infuriating, frustrating and almost hilarious in some regards.  You would think I would learn... but I don't... I just make another plan.

For months I have planned my RE appointment that is taking place tomorrow.  I have rehearsed in my mind our conversation.  What I will say and probably what Dr. B will say.  It might as well already happened because I have planned how it is going to go in my mind for so long.  That is until today when I started mulling over that the IUI that I am planning in this scenario may not be a good idea.  That what I should be pushing for is IVF.

Since we are 100% out of pocket on fertility expenses  ( That sucks)  I need heavy doses of the meds because I am a "poor responder".  So just one IUI is going to cost us several thousand dollars. For a few thousand dollars more we could be doing IVF with MUCH higher success rates and the possibility of being able to freeze an embryo or two. ( Wishful thinking probably  but it is possible).  I could possible even get twins out of IVF which we would be thrilled with.

So why waste more money....???? 

Ah but will Dr. B let me even do IVF... that is the question.  Tomorrow do I push him to allow me to do it?  Will he want to see how I respond to the meds first?  hmmm can't forsee this in my planning... I don't even know if this is the right thing.  I have no freakin clue what to do about it.  So I am going to have to just dialogue with him...and pray that the next step taken will be the right one.