Follicles

So the picture above is not me.  I don't have those big beautiful follicles... not yet.  had my first monitoring appointment this morning and really nothing showed up.  While the nurse said it was too early, the sonographer seemed surprised. So let the worry begin!  Now I am CD5 and have had 3 days of stims.  My nurse said we should see more Monday.  Ugh.  I am reminding myself that I am praying that is isn't suppose to happen this IVF that I would rather have something go wrong early then at the end after we pay out the hooha.  To be honest I have been really negative about this cycle.  I just don't have a good feeling about it.  I am trying to put on a brave face for J but truth be told I am freaking terrified.  My mind just keeps going toward egg or embryo donation.  I think my ovaries are done.  I have no real proof of this.  Just where my mind wanders on a daily basis.   So until Monday's next appointment I will wait, try to stay busy and try to stay positive. 

This is an actual picture of my meds.  Menopur only right now.  I do 250ius ( 3 vials)  in the morning and the same at night.  Thank the Lord that I have been so blessed to receive donations from an OOP meds program.  Women have graciously donated meds to me saving us a ton of money. They are my heroes!