I need an outlet. A healthy anonymous outlet. While I share so many things with friends and family (my husband hates that I do that BTW). I use to love to journal so I am using this as on online journal as I go through the taxing, difficult, and often sad and lonely time of trying to have a baby.
My hope is in Jesus but I am using all the tools provided to me. Those tools are expensive, confusing, and completely overwhelming at times. If you haven't been through it, well you don't understand it. Infertility. Such a horrible word. The word itself brings on so many negative sad emotions. I hate that word, but at the moment it is a label I wear. Well I don't wear it really, but it is written on my medical charts.
We have only been trying a little over 6 months and yes I am aware that that isn't that long of a time. But it seems like years sometimes. Each cycle drags on then ends with disappointment. The first few months you are excited but each new month brings on less excitement and more fear, sadness and dread. 6 months 7 cycles and... NADA. No baby. And if I was 25 there would be no concern, but at 35 the clock is ticking and the eggs are depleting... So it is time to do something about it!
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