Today is my amazing husbands birthday. The love I have for this man is so monumental that no words could describe it. I never believed in soul mates until I met him. He makes every day better...even when they totally suck. He is my rock and on this journey he is my partner in every way. I am so blessed.
I called and made my RE appointment today. The plan is to have a sit down with Dr. B to discuss what has happened thus far such as previous cycles, the loss, and the additional testing I have had done. Dr. B is then suppose to give me a new protocol for a medicated IUI cycle. This may be my last shot at IUI.
I don't know why I am so scared to see Dr. B. He is a bit intimidating, but we actually get a long pretty well. I guess it is the association I have with him with bad news or disappointment or failure. I mean the last few times I have been devastated and crying either due to a failed cycle or the miscarriage. Dh and I are pretty much resigned that we are most likely going to need every resource and ART treatment known to man to get our take home baby. We have no basis for this medically. It is just what is in our gut. So we are preparing for a long hard battle.
I am ready physically... but not sure if I am ready emotionally. Can you ever be prepared emotionally for the battles that come with infertility and miscarriage? In fact, I think I am more scared because of my loss because I now know what that loss feels like and I wonder if I can handle another one. The thought of that almost paralyzes me. I get a lump in my throat and have to hold back tears when I think about it. But I don't have a choice but to fight on and trust that God has a plan for us.
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